The Cycle of Life with a Chronic Illness
Spring is upon us. Depending on where you live you may even have daffodils blooming and perennials sprouting, adding yellow and green dots of happiness to the drab brown winter landscape.
If you know me, you know one of my hobbies is gardening. TBH it’s less of a hobby and more of a mandatory fun activity that I must do for my mental health. There is something about getting your hands dirty while feeling the sun on your face that makes me less bitchy.
As you may know, I have been in relapse recovery mode since mid January. It’s a slow and steady uphill battle, but recovery is slowly happening.
Anywho, as I was checking to see if the bulbs I planted were breaking ground, I thought about how this isn’t my first rodeo. I’ve had plenty of other relapses that strip me of my health for a period.
Before I had time to think about it, I caught my thoughts running away…
‘Ugh, this again’
‘Why do I have to rebuild AGAIN’
‘When does this shit end?’
But then, I had a light bulb moment that helped put the cycles of living with a chronic illness in perspective.
Life with a chronic illness is like the life cycle of a flower bulb. Seriously.
Hear me out…
First, you start out just living your life. Sure, you have a chronic illness which means you have good and bad days, but there isn’t more on your plate than normal. Times like these are when you are a beautiful blooming flower - just out there shining bright and thriving as best you can.
Setback
Then for whatever reason your body goes rogue - causing a relapse or another setback. The beautiful flower that you are shifts into survival mode in order to make it through this challenge. You step back and hibernate, like a bulb hibernating in the winter.
Time to Heal
Slowly but surely you start to harness your energy. You may have been striped down to a bulb, but you rest, take care of yourself and begin to heal - just like a bulb in the winter stockpiling its resources for warmer weather.
Making Progress
Over time you start making progress and notice improvements. You feel like you are slowly growing - similar to a bulb in the ground as the temps rise, reaching for the surface.
See the Light at the End of the Tunnel
You keep going and one day you have a big win. You are SO proud of yourself and finally see light at the end of the tunnel. This is the equivalent of a bulb finally breaking ground and reaching for the sun.
Back Better than Before
You continue on and before you know it you are have found your new baseline and get out of survival mode. You’re back to enjoying your life and it’s official - you’ve made it through. Just like you, the plant is thriving, lush and blooming, even more so than the previous year.
And this cycle continues to repeat. For the flower, it repeats yearly. If you have a chronic illness the cycle is a bit more sporadic. Setbacks can happen randomly but regardless you know the drill when one comes around.
Go into hibernation mode, rest and heal, slowly make progress until you are fully back in action.
Often when we think about setbacks with an illness in a finite way - like life is over and you will never be happy again. That perspective makes you want to give up before you even get started.
In actuality, a setback is just part of the cycle of life. It’s not an ending, it’s a change to adjust to and evolve from. You’ve adapted plenty of times in life and so far your track record is 100%. This is no different.
So, like the flower that dies back in the winter only to come back larger and brighter than before, you will find your way and come back better than before - all you need to do is keep going.
You got this 🧡
