shifting behavior driven by emotions
We all have feelings. Regardless of what they are, your emotions are valid.
That being said, emotions can drive behavior that is not in line with who we want to be for ourself or others. That shit can be very harmful AND it often only intensifies the emotion versus simmering it the fuck down.
So what is the alternative?
Doing the opposite of what your emotions are telling you.
But wtf does this look like in real life?
First, let’s break down common reactions to different emotions.
The next step is switching the emotionally driven behavior to the opposite action.
Check out the table below to see what that looks like…
Before we continue, let’s get one thing crystal fucking clear when we talk about opposite action. It is NOT denying or invalidating whatever emotion you are feeling. It’s about regulating the emotion instead of acting on emotionally driven behavior that often causes more harm than good.
To use opposite action in your daily life…
Validate the emotion you are feeling. Describe how it feels to you, including how it manifests physically.
Decide if the emotion is super fucking intense and if it would be helpful to regulate or downgrade the intensity of what you’re feeling.
Based on the emotion, pick an opposite action to take. Decide what you can do to help simmer down your feels. Be specific about your plan.
Get to work! Start responding to the emotion with the opposite action you chose.
After a certain amount of time (you decide how long), evaluate how you are feeling and if the opposite action you picked was helpful.
Continue to monitor your emotions. Take note of what worked and what didn’t so you know for next time!
It’s no secret that practice makes perfect. Don’t expect to be a badass at this immediately, but DO keep practicing. Trial and error will help you figure out what works.
Best of luck! :)
