what to do When the dark days come calling
To be candid, since being diagnosed with MS 17 years ago I have struggled with my mental health. Coping strategies, emotional regulation, mindset work, therapy and meds are part of the magical combination that keeps me in a decent mental state. That said, about every 5-7 years I seem to get in a deeper hole of depression.
Between living with an ever-changing chronic illness, starting a business that requires a lot of emotional, mental and physical energy and other things in my personal life, not to mention the collective stresses we share with the state of the world, stress for me has been at an all time high.
Of course it has ebbed and flowed, but it has been too high, too often for a while.
The last month has reached new heights (lucky me). You may not see it on social media, but my stamina is shot, my perspective is shifting negative, my endurance and ability to manage stress is dwindling and life is harder and darker than I would like right now.
Plus, MS is being inconvenient at best.
The anger, sadness, disappointment and grief is loud and proud. It’s exhausting.
I’ve had trouble shaking it, even just a little bit, and I am fucking sick of it, to be frank.
But I realized something the other day that helped me and in hopes of it helping you too, here we go…
The days will come and go either way - you can either perseverate on IF it should be or WHY it’s happening OR you can accept what is happening (even if you fucking hate it) and channel your sadness, anger, grief and emotions into action with the goal of shifting your situation.
I chose the later, because I have been down the road of the former and it’s not my cup of tea. :)
There are two ways I channel all that negative emotional energy shifting my perspective from negative and critical to neutral or positive.
ONE
I find small things that make me happy, and I mean like really small, often things people take for granted type of small.
The fact that I didn’t drop that mug this time (aka my grip didn’t fail me).
The sun shining through the window.
The loud ass birds outside all happy and chirping.
Watching my cat snuggle up to me.
The fact that I am breathing.
The fact that I have the awareness of my mental health to recognize an issue.
The fact that traffic isn’t a fucking standstill today, it’s just slow.
Watching that bee find a flower and collect pollen and go on its merry way.
And the countless other things there are to be grateful for - once you start looking, it gets easier.
Now it’s your turn - what are some small things that are in your life right now that you can appreciate?
TWO
I revert back to my coping strategies and make a list of options. Then when the world feels like too much, I pick a strategy.
Here are just some of mine…
Write about how you feel and why
Create - art, coloring books, diy projects
Listen to music or podcasts
Read
Sit outside
Gardening
Hang with the cats
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Visualization
Movement
Using cold to regulate myself (ice on wrists or dunking face in cold water)
It’s your turn again, what are your go-to coping strategies?
Once you have your list, pay attention to how you feel and whip out a coping strategy when needed to help soften any overwhelming emotions in the moment.
Pro tip - It’s even more beneficial if you can really be present and intentional with whatever you pick - meaning really set the bs aside and enjoy the moment, just you and your coping strategy.
If it is hard to be in the moment, focus on your senses throughout - what do you hear, feel, taste, see or smell? Doing this can help you stay present.
Both of these tips may be challenging to do at first, but speaking from experience, they can help boost you out of a seemingly never ending funk.
Here’s to brighter days!
