How to Balance Chronic Illness With Life Stressors
Similar to any life altering event, chronic illness adds a big layer of added difficulties and stressors. On top of that life doesn’t stop when you get sick (which is *so fun*).
Even if you have been living with illness for a while, it still puts on extra stress. I’m a great example of that, because I recently had my 18 year anniversary with good ‘ol MS and let me tell you, I (and the immediate fam) have been *through it* this past December.
Our sweet orange cat, Clifford, unexpectedly past away and we are learning how to navigate life without that ball of energy yelling constantly.
Grieving Cliff’s absence as a household has been a balancing act since everyone (including our other cat, Lilly) grieves differently.
I have been having more difficulty with MS lately along with mysterious symptoms that I am still learning how to best manage. Both of which severely impact my life physically and mentally.
The holidays (and everything that comes along with them).
School loan nightmares on top of the general stressors all adults have (finances, home, etc etc).
Likely at least 5 other big things that I have just blocked out (haha, at times it is necessary)
Obviously, I’m glad to have made it through the month alive and remotely sane. That said, I put together the things that I did that helped soften the blow of the absolute shitshow that was December.
How to get through Overwhelming times
If life is really dishing out some challenges, or if you feel especially overwhelmed, take a look at the list below and see what you can try to integrate into your life to make it less overwhelming. No need to do everything on it, just pick one or two small changes.
Accept what is happening - radically.
Meaning, you don’t need to LIKE what is happening to accept it. You just need to recognize that this is your reality and avoiding it, fighting it, or denying it is only going to leave you stuck. Accepting your reality and shifting your focus to actual things you can control like your own behaviors and actions is the way to get unstuck.
Of course no one is saying to be happy that your cat died (for example), it’s just about recognizing that you still have control in a seemingly uncontrollable situation. You have a choice to feel, move through and process the emotions, or stay trapped in them.
While shifting your focus to things you can control and then taking actionable steps to shift your situation is not an easy thing, it is possible. You just need to face whatever is happening, know yourself and what you need in that moment, and then actually do that thing.
Prioritize your self - physically and mentally.
I know you may be like ‘wtf Sam, how am I supposed to do that when my world is crumbling?’ Well, it’s a harsh truth that if you don’t take care of yourself you can’t take care of others or other things going on in your life. So, you have to start with YOUR wellbeing first. And no, it’s not selfish.
Fuel your body with healthy foods and stay hydrated. If you aren’t providing your body with energy, it is REALLY gonna be hard to get through a chaotic season of life. If eating healthy is too much right now, that is fine. You can try ready made meals or salads to cut down on prep time. Alternatively, plan time to meal prep and relieve stress at the same time - gather your ingredients, put on some good music, and tune everything out while you are cooking. And if all that is way too fucking much, that’s fine, just don’t forget to eat something and drink water. Let’s be real - any fuel is better than no fuel!
Get on a sleep schedule, and try your best to stick with it. This ties in to the above point that any fuel is better than no fuel. Your body needs sleep. It’s when it recharges to prepare for the next day’s challenges. While sleeping during a hectic time may seem counterintuitive or ridiculous, it is impossible to go go go all the time. Rest is productive.
Move. You don’t need to exercise for long periods or anything like that, just move in some way. Do stretches in your bed, walk to get the mail, stand up and march for a minute. The point is to just break up time spent not moving. As long as you don’t over do it, it will give you some energy and alleviate stress.
Tune in and check in with yourself often throughout the day. How are you feeling mentally and physically? Do you need a little break? Is there something little you can do to help yourself? You are already dealing with a shitload, no need to be a hero and not take breaks on top of it. Plus, the better you care for yourself, the better you can show up in life.
On this note, if you are feeling particularly stressed and realize you need a little break, try getting outside and breathing fresh air, doing something creative like a coloring book, watching a show or listening to music. You gotta figure out a way to provide some stress relief that isn’t scrolling mindlessly on social media or drinking excessively. Social media, alcohol, and other vices may be fine to do in moderation, but if it is getting out of control then you need to take a step back.
Prioritize what actually needs to be done.
When life is dishing it out lot of things at once, you need to pause, take a look at it all, and figure out what things NEED to get done, vs things that you WANT to get done vs things that WOULD BE NICE to accomplish. And since we are all great at putting others needs in front of our own, I will make it easy for you. Anything that is a basic need or has to do with your mental or physical health go in the category of NEED. :)
Ask for help.
Yes, it is hard, but you know how you like to help others, well people WANT to help you too. Seek support from friends, family and community. Be specific in your requests (I need a ride at 12pm on Wednesday for a doctor appointment vs can you drive me sometime?) and don’t feel bad asking. Again, people want to help.
Say no.
Be firm with your boundaries during this time. There is no need to add more onto your plate, or agree to do things just to be nice. Remember, your health and wellbeing is top priority not trying to have as many commitments on your calendar as possible.
Get social.
I mean do something chill that is also social, not partaking in social events that are draining productions. Sometimes having some time with a close friend or even just getting out in public at a park or doing an errand can get you out of your own life stresses for a bit. That reprieve from your overwhelm can really help.
Have a saying or mantra to say during the day.
What is going to be helpful to hear when you are over all the stressors of the day? Having a mantra to repeat can be grounding in the chaos.
Ones to try:
I’m doing the best I can and that is good enough.
One step at a time.
Every little bit counts.
Or remind yourself to breathe and then actually taking some deep inhales and exhales.
Be nice to yourself.
Self compassion goes a long way. If you use your words or actions to beat yourself down on top of all the craziness of life, you are making it ten times worse. So don’t be a dick to yourself ESPECIALLY when life is dishing out lemons. For example, instead of saying/thinking that you are not good enough, shift that to ‘I’m doing the best I can and that IS good enough’.
At the end of the day, life has its peaceful moments, but also can turn into a clusterfuck in a flash. It can be even harder to ride the rollercoaster when you are balancing an illness on top of it all. That said, there are ways to manage the stress, prioritize your wellbeing, and roll with the punches. And, like everything it takes work and practice, but that practice will pay off.
