How to Prep for a Doctor Appointment
Every time I go to the doctor they always ask the same question at intake - is your blood pressure always this high?
Every time I say the same thing while laughing - ‘no it’s not, but y’all make me nervous.’
It gets a chuckle usually, but it is true. I have had my fair share of challenging appointments over the last 18+ years with MS. And I don’t mean challenging like it’s hard to decide on a med, I mean challenging like reading ‘patient says they are in pain but they look beautiful today’ in my chart when I was 20. I mean challenging like going to a new doctor after 15 years of navigating MS and being told I need to see a psychiatrist because there is no way what I am experiencing is MS progression. They insisted that the physical decline I experienced was stress. (Spoiler alert: it was MS progression, not stress, and I no longer see that doctor.)
HEALTHCARE AS A WHOLE
To be clear in NO way do I think doctors are out to get people. I know a lot of them personally and I know how tirelessly they work. I see them showing up every day trying to make a difference in a horrifically broken system. They have an immense amount of work that takes them away from patient care and over burdens them with things to do. They are stuck in the (sometimes) crappy healthcare system just like you.
Doctors are people and have bad days too. Their kids get sick, family members pass away, they are overloaded with stupid adult admin shit too. And of course there are bad eggs too. I am not ignorant.
This is not meant to be an excuse. It’s just no one is perfect, no matter how much you want them to be - including your doctor.
APPOINTMENT PREP
There are definitely steps you can take so you can walk in that room confident in your experience and as prepared as possible. This ensures no time is wasted in the appointment. It allows you to be present and (slightly) more calm because your ducks are in a row.
While you can’t prepare for everything that happens in a doctor appointment, doing what you can to prepare, being respectful, listening, asking questions and having clear communication goes a long way.
SETTING THE STAGE
In general, as the patient, you are the expert in your experience and your body. Your role is to share your concerns, provide as much info as possible and advocate for yourself as needed.
The doctor is the expert of the human body, systems and illness AS A WHOLE from a detailed, clinical perspective that is rooted in experience and education. They are the expert clinically.
Think about it…your perspective and what you are bringing to the appointment is based in your experience as an individual. Your doctor is bringing the perspective and knowledge of ALL the patients they see plus their clinical education. One is not more valid than the other. The goal is to honor the validity in both the patient’s and the doctor’s experience and merge them so your care is so fucking good you don’t stress at the appointment at all.
HOW TO PREP
The list of things you could do before an appointment is long, but I will put stars by the most important things for your doctor. There will be hearts by the most important things to do to take care of yourself. That way you can pick and choose based on your own situation.
Before the Appointment
To help your doctor:
✨ Make sure all your records and the dr you are being referred to has access to all those things prior to the appointment so they can review if needed
✨ Bring or KNOW FOR SURE every single supplement, vitamins, herb, and medicines you take including the dosage and frequency.
If you’re waiting for a specialist appointment: follow up on referral. You can confirm with your dr the referral was sent. You can call the office that the referral was sent to to make sure they received it. Ask them when you can expect to be followed up with. If that day passes and you don’t hear from them, follow up with them. The healthcare system is busy and the squeaky BUT POLITE wheel gets the grease.
To help you:
🧡 Figure out logistics - how long it will take to get there, how early you need to be, parking, accessibility, forms to complete, etc.
🧡 Think about if you want to bring someone with you. This can be helpful to further back up your statements (like what symptoms you are experiencing and how they affect your life). Having a witness adds credibility and they can help you remember things or offer support during the appointment too.
Keep an eye on your mindset and stress levels leading up to the meeting. Try to focus on things you can control vs uncontrollables. Just prep and rest assured that’s all you can do. Remind yourself that if this dr doesn’t work out, yes, it will suck, but there are plenty more to try.
🧡 ✨ Track your symptoms - gain as much knowledge about your symptoms as possible like what they are, when they occur and how often, how long they last, their intensity, triggers, how long it takes to recover and their impact. The blog article and symptom tracker HERE will teach ya everything you need to know about tracking + looking for patterns.
Prepare yourself so you do NOT downplay your symptoms in the appt (also don’t over exaggerate where it doesnt sound believeable just to show how bad they are to get your point across). Be honest in how much these are affecting your life and how it has caused your life to change. Give TANGIBLE examples. For example, I used to workout for 45 mins 4 times a week doing strength training and now I can only get through 20 mins once per week because when I am more active my body gets weak - that gives them numbers (aka quantitative info) which is easier to grasp for everyone.
🧡 ✨Do a brain dump and write out any questions or concerns you have. Then go back through and list in order of priority. We all know time is limited in appointments (which is not the doctor’s fault btw, it’s the healthcare system). Come with your top 3 concerns and keep your other questions just in case there is time for more!
🧡 ✨ Write out a timeline of your health. I am talking HIGH LEVEL. Think like a one pager resume almost. The point is so the doctor doesn’t need to spread precious time to read through records. Things to note include when symptoms started and what they were, diagnosis dates, medicine or therapy start and end dates, and lab/test dates and results. This can also be helpful in keeping dates and info straight for you in the appointment too!
During the Appointment
You are allowed to NICELY and respectfully grill them about what they think is happening. If they are dismissing you, restate how it is impacting your life and that you can not continue living like this. Inserting tangible examples like ‘I used to be able to work for 8 hours a day, but now I can only work for max of 2 hours every day. So, I won’t be able to afford rent. This is clearly having a huge impact on my quality of life.’ State the facts and the result and ask what action they suggest we take to get to the bottom of it.
Defensiveness from either party is not going to help obviously. Since all you can control is you, focus on responding instead of reacting. I know it is hard because emotions may be high, but ya know how if someone yells at you or is shitty to you you don’t want to help them? Be kind but FIRM - you’ll get further. You know from my content that I love a swear word or two. But, you best believe those aren’t being used AT people, ESPECIALLY my healthcare team. Unfortunately, doctors are not magicians. Some problems can not be fixed (helllloooo chronic illness). Sometimes the choices are between shitty option #1 and shittier option #2 and it is important to not get pissed at the messenger (the doctor).
That said, sometimes the solutions (or lack of) is not the issue. While it’s not ideal that you have to be prepared to advocate for yourself when you are sick, sometime you will need to. If there appears to be a misunderstanding or you don’t feel listened to, try restating it.
This symptom is impacting my life in ___this way. What do you suggest we do to fix this? What do I do if it worsens?
You can also ask additional questions.
Is there no test or therapy that would be helpful?
What’s the differential diagnosis?
If they deny a test AND there is justification that the test/lab in question should be run, ask the doctor to document in your chart that they are declining to do the test or lab. This puts the responsibility on them. *To be clear this is not a way to bully your doctors into running unnecessary tests. That said, this is a way to navigate having your legitimate concerns dismissed.
REMINDER
There are lots of things that are outside of our control that influence how an appointment goes - the shamefully high prevalence of medical bias, racism and gaslighting, the broken ass healthcare system are just an few examples.
We also can’t control other people, how they respond to stressors or how they choose to show respect or communicate.
But, again we can choose to focus on what we can control - ourselves. We can show up as prepared as possible. We can respond instead of react. We can move the fuck on if the provider is not the one.
SUPER IMPORTANT NOTE: You and your provider are on the same team. If you don’t like your team mate, find a new one. It sucks to do it, but it’s necessary sometimes. Not everyone is a good fit and that’s okay.
Remember, it may not always feel like it but you have options. You always have options.
TO CLOSE
When you’re chronically ill doctor appointments are like everything else - doable but more complicated. These steps will make the entire process of seeing the doctor more organized and less overwhelming 🧡
What do you think? Do you prep for appointments? Are there any additional steps you do before seeing the doctor?
Share it all in the comments :)
